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  • Survivors like Edith

    Domestic violence can take any form namely psychological abuse, forced intercourse, physical aggression as well as other controlling behaviors. The negative impacts of domestic violence can have physical, mental, and emotional ramifications. In most cases, the basis of abuse lies in sociocultural norms and a normalization of violence against women.

    Intimate partner violence may lead to mental health disorders, anxiety disorders and PTSD. Moreover, the longer the duration of violence, the higher the severity of depression. Children who witness such violence may also suffer from mental health disorders in subsequent life—ranging from anxiety, aggression, depression and trauma-related symptoms. This trauma may also lead children to have academic difficulties later in life, substance abuse issues, or display high-risk sexual behavior.

    Survivors like Edith found not just shelter, but case management and counseling services to help deal with the traumatic effects of domestic violence.

    My husband abused me every day for over four years. It started when I was 21 years old and was living in Northridge with my husband, our son and infant daughter. He was controlling and manipulative, and I had suffered physical, psychological, emotional, verbal, economic, and sexual abuse. I never talked with anyone about the abuse. I was alone and did not have family here. He was my only family. It became worse when his mother started participating in the abuse. The day I decided to leave the father of my kids was the same day he hit me so hard he broke my nose, he was screaming and physically abusing me. His mother and his sister came to the apartment and took my kids. My husband stayed and continued the abuse throughout the night. He finally left in the morning. I gathered myself and called him that afternoon, begging him to bring my kids back. I went to his mother’s house to pick up my kids, his mother told me to forget my kids and she closed and locked the door. I went back to the apartment, and I stayed there by myself. After three days, I went to the police and was advised to speak with somebody and explained my domestic violence and my abuser, and his family doesn’t want to give me my kids. I was transferred to a court investigator; he gave me an emergency restraining order. It took me fifteen days to get my kids back. A case was opened against the father of my kids, and I was told that they attempted to contact him, but he never answered or came back to the apartment. I was given contact information for shelters in my area. Haven Hills was the closest shelter to my home; I called the hotline, went through intake and began the program in 2016. Haven Hills made me feel protected and not lonely anymore. The counselors were very helpful to me, and I could trust them. I took domestic violence classes, yoga classes, I attended support groups, one on one counseling, and therapy. All the programs gave me the strength to understand and accept that I was not the only one in the abuse and were vital for my healing process and I finally lost the fear three years ago. The future holds a better life for my kids and me. “

    Survivors of domestic violence experience many emotions such as fear, confusion, anger, numbness, guilt, and shame. You can cover up the visible effects of violence with makeup or clothing but getting help for abuse in a timely manner can help prevent the long-term emotional and psychological impacts of abuse.

    Haven Hills can help Survivors with resources to help with the long-term impacts of abuse and start them on a path of positive mental health and wellness. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, seek help. You are not alone. Haven Hills 24/7 Crisis Hotline 818-887-6589

  • Housing is an especially important concern for many Survivors.

    Leaving a domestic violence situation is not easy.  Often survivors are faced with almost insurmountable obstacles that make it difficult for them to seek safety. At Haven Hills we believe that everyone deserves to live a life free from violence and make it our mission to help survivors break down barriers that keep them in unsafe relationships. 

    Women like Claire who in April 2022 was referred to us by another domestic violence agency and began working with one of our Housing Navigators.  With the financial assistance from our Housing First program, and despite the many challenges in her path, Claire worked to reach huge milestones. 

    The first obstacle Claire had to overcome was an open child custody case with her abusive partner, for custody of her youngest son.   Costly fees to obtain legal representation were a significant barrier. Through financial assistance from the program, she has secured legal representation and continues to work towards regaining full custody of her son. Unfortunately, the Judge, in that custody case, deemed the shelter in which she was residing an unsuitable environment for her son. Therefore, it became imperative that Claire find housing, in her son’s school district, to comply with the Judge’s requirements.

    In July 2022, she obtained a place to live within her son’s school district where she could live with both of her children. The Housing First Program provided support for Claire’s security deposit and a few months of rental assistance to allow time for Claire to get back on her feet after exiting the shelter.

    Throughout that time, Claire and her Housing Navigator worked together to provide her with assistance crucial to her independence and safety. 

    • We helped earn her Basic Life Support Certification which helped her obtained new employment with better pay and hours.
    • We helped her with essential furniture assistance to help her establish her new home. 
    • We helped her with emergency food and clothing to help as she continued to stabilize.

    Much like healing trauma and abuse, finding affordable, safe housing is crucial to helping survivors reduce the possibility of future violence. That is why programs like Housing First are so important as they reduce housing instability and homelessness and ensure that survivors have increased economic opportunities.

    Claire is very thankful to the Haven Hills Team and often refers to Haven Hills as “Heaven Hills” and to the Haven Hills’ team as her “angels”.  We couldn’t be prouder of her success and the small part we played in her achievements.

    Despite the many barriers still before her, Claire continues to make steady progress towards self-sustainability and is hopeful for what is yet to come. Haven Hills will continue to provide support to ensure that Claire and her children don’t lose their housing or their financial independence. 

    Since 2018 the Housing First Program has helped survivors like Claire exit from our transitional program, crisis shelter, and outreach programs to find housing successfully, pursue their goals and improve their quality of life.

    To find out how your unrestricted gift can help us invest in critical programs like Housing First please contact our Development Department at 818-887-7481 ext. 121.

  • Grit

    One of the many barriers that survivors face when trying to leave an abusive relationship is a lack of education or job readiness. Often, this inability to support themselves keeps survivors in abusive relationships.

    Knowing this, in 2020 Haven Hills partnered with the American Aerospace Technical Academy to create a multi-sector blueprint to highlight meaningful workforce pathways combined with trauma-informed practices for survivors of domestic violence. We focused on a multi-sector approach to create pathways out of poverty, dependence, and violence through training in non-destructive testing, GED attainment, job placement, and wrap-around support services such as case management, life skills, and support groups to help manage work stress for survivors. Our hope was to help participants build stability through increased workforce readiness, skill acquisition and confidence building.

    It is never easy to take on a new career or to consider a new career at any age and it was especially important that we prepare participants for the added workload and scheduling management required to accommodate virtual classes from 5pm to 10pm, Monday through Friday during the 16-week program.

    We are honored to report that six survivors successfully completed the first Workforce Development Program class! We are challenged to find the perfect word that encompasses the six graduates and their sheer determination to complete this program. The only word that comes to mind is “Grit”. This word is defined by the perseverance, resiliency, and the hard work to reach a goal over a long period of time and each of these survivors have all truly encompassed what it means to be “gritty”.

    The challenges these survivors had were many, and they met them with determination and the hope of building a better life for themselves and their children. They had to learn new material virtually through a pandemic, which certainly had its own set of challenges. They had to re-learn how to be in school. They balanced being a single mother, working to provide for their family, while healing from their trauma. And yet, despite all of that, they succeeded. It was inspiring and an honor to witness their growth throughout this program.

    All of us at Haven Hills believe this project has the potential to change systems and conditions for domestic violence survivors that traditional workforce strategies do not provide.  We look forward to implementing the best practices learned through this pilot and cultivate relationships with additional training programs to provide more opportunities for survivors in our care.  We also hope to better understand both the participants’ individual capacity for success within this context and our ability to provide the wrap-around services and follow-up required for long-term and sustained participant success.

  • Teaching Through a Pandemic

    One pandemic later and we are living in a world of virtual learning and 18 months later we are slowly beginning to integrate back to some semblance of normalcy. We wanted to take a moment to interview Haven Hills’ teacher to share her thoughts about the education program at Haven Hills and how the pandemic has affected her program. 

    • Interviewer: Tell me about Haven Hills’ Children’s programs and on-site shelter school? 

    I am extremely proud of the educational program my team and I have developed throughout my 10 years at Haven Hills. We have always maintained a child-centered curriculum, combined with rigorous attention to state standards; taught in a creative and engaging way. As a teacher who has previously taught in classrooms containing 30+ students, I feel blessed to have the luxury of an environment where I can focus on individual needs and strengths so vital to a child’s growth and self-esteem. Both the kids and I have thrived in this atmosphere. When I hear a 15-year-old boy tell me that mine was the first class where he ever read an entire book, or when a 10-year-old girl, told for years she was “stupid” at math, lights up at mastering division; it is no mystery why I have stayed here 10 years.  

    We focus on English/Language Arts, Math, Science, and Social Studies every day.  Art, music, and dance are also a big part of my classroom.  Over the years, I have collected a terrific assortment of lesson plans for all grades and interests.  Some, I have written, some I have borrowed, and on some I have collaborated.  The remarkable thing about educators is that they love to share their successful lessons with each other! The structure of the classroom is divided by age and grade.  We serve kids kindergarten through high school.  I design an instructional program for each of the kids based on my initial assessments, state standards, and the children’s own strengths and interests.  I only have them for a maximum of 45 days (about 1 and a half months), but it is wonderful to see what some TLC can do. 

    • Interviewer: How is their learning structured during the pandemic? 

     Throughout the last year, the Haven Hills team and I have challenged ourselves to maintain the education of our client’s children in any way possible. We have distributed thrice weekly lessons, worksheets, and curricula, offered Zoom classes, and purchased hands on science and art kits for the kids to enjoy. I have heard from many parents throughout the year that the children enjoy the educational packets and that the parents also enjoy doing them with their kids! So, as an unexpected bonus, parents and children have strengthened their bond! Yay! That said, though, I cannot WAIT to get back into the classroom, whenever that may be. I miss the interaction and the joy I get from my students. 

    • Interviewer: Do you work with partner organizations? 

    Most other DV (DOMESTIC VIOLENCE) shelters do not have onsite schools, which is a shame, because it is unsafe for the children to return to their old school (because of the abuser).  There have been many cases of the abusive partner kidnapping the children from their school and/or using them as leverage against the DV survivor.  So, back in the 70’s, when Haven Hills began, the women who founded it wisely wanted the children to continue their studies. They also knew the routine of school would provide comfort and structure to traumatized kids.  They also intuitively knew that happy kids help heal the DV survivors.  So, they designed a one-room schoolhouse for the survivor’s children onsite where the kids could thrive and get a lot of individual attention they have been needing for years.  Other DV shelters are beginning to catch on to how necessary a school is for the health of their clients and have installed them or in the process of developing them. Another serendipitous event occurred during this last challenging year. A sister shelter contacted me to pick my brain on developing their own classroom onsite! I happily babbled on for an hour to their administrator and it truly reminded me how much I love teaching at Haven Hills. He told me he is going to incorporate many of my suggestions. This success is a shared one:  I could not do the positive things for the kids I do without the support and encouragement of the Haven Hills team. 

    • Interviewer: Do you have any advice for parents out there who may be struggling with school? 

    Advice for parents struggling with school is first…realize we are all struggling so do not be tough on yourself.  Also, do not be ashamed or embarrassed to reach out for support from other parents or teachers, online or by phone.  There are terrific free resources available:  the Los Angeles Unified School District, the PTA, even the public library! There are parent support groups that are open and encouraging to all — all you need to do is ask. 

    • Interviewer: Do you have a favorite teaching moment? 

    My favorite teaching moment is when school is over and the kids do not want to leave! Yes, that does sometimes happen.  That is truly a great moment. 

  • Culturally Specific Support

    Every day, Haven Hills staff sees the devastating impact of Domestic Violence on the faces of the families that come to us for help; they are suffering both emotionally and physically. To offer the help that these families require, we often must consider the cultural and linguistic backgrounds of the clients we are serving. A lack of understanding of a culturally different client’s values and motivations, or the assumption that they are the same as one’s own, can be a significant barrier. A ‘one size fits all’ approach to supporting trauma is not effective.

    For example, many of our clients were brought up to neither share confidences nor admit emotional pain to outsiders. The personal disclosure and behavioral changes that counselors typically suggest can often be embarrassing and totally unimaginable to clients who would rather “handle their own business” than seek outside help from a stranger.

    “Understanding the complexities of a person’s background and individual situation makes a huge difference in successfully assisting them in treating their trauma and achieve self-esteem,” explained Iliana Tavera, Haven Hills Executive Director. “We understand that beliefs and traditions are powerful forces in a person’s life and that providing culturally sensitive care is essential to supporting domestic violence survivors from diverse cultural backgrounds”.

    Clients like Cheri, a woman in her 30s who immigrated to the U.S. in 2003 from Bangladesh in 2003 as part of an arranged marriage agreement. Initially confronted with her husband’s verbal abuse, the situation escalated after a year to slapping, pulling hair, kicking and choking her when he was displeased. The verbal abuse intensified as he criticized her to the children, called her a prostitute and threatened to cut her throat.
    Cheri tried to leave many times, but she was financially dependent on her spouse and did not have friends or family in this country. After years of abuse, Cheri finally called the police after a particularly violent episode, and her husband was arrested in 2015. After his release, he left the country and returned to his home country.

    That year, Cheri began the difficult journey toward independence with the help of social services and the support of the Haven Hills Outreach Program. Learning to do everything on her own was very hard, but with the aid of Haven Hills’ highly trained counselors she has grown in confidence and has become self-sufficient. Ultimately, Cheri was accepted into a nursing program and graduated in 2017.

    Cultural and geographic isolation worsened by financial dependence on a spouse, can be devastating obstacles to overcome. Take for instance Amalia a middle-aged Muslim woman whose marriage to a man 25 years her senior was arranged by her parents when she was only 18.

    Her husband had always been emotionally distant and controlling of the finances, but in recent years he became increasingly abusive. He prevented her from working or getting a college education, and he kept her on a weekly allowance of $25.00, requiring her to account for every penny. His criticism and blame extended to belittling her to their grown sons and claiming she was crazy. On numerous occasions, he tried to force her to take unknown pills, despite being told by a psychiatrist, following an examination, that she did not need medication.

    Amalia found Haven Hills through an internet search in January 2016. At that time, she was wondering what she could do to make her husband change. Since coming to Haven Hills and attending support groups led by counselors specially trained in domestic violence, her self-esteem has improved. Amalia realized she only has the power to change herself, and she has started to work towards self-sufficiency and divorce.

    She recently completed a class to become a real estate agent. In addition, Haven Hills advocated for her to be a part of Pepperdine’s Microenterprise Program to develop the skills to become an entrepreneur. Amalia was recently accepted into the Pepperdine program and hopes to use the skills she learns there to develop a website and become financially independent.

  • Housing First Program: How Haven Hills Helps Survivors of Domestic Violence Find Housing

    For 43 years, Haven Hills has been adapting to provide domestic violence survivors with services to support their emerging needs. From our humble beginning as a hotline that operated from 9 am – 4 pm, when the Savings and Loan bank that donated space was open, to the opening of our shelters and our Service Center. 

    We pride ourselves in providing innovative services to help survivors overcome their trauma and build better lives for themselves and their children. That’s one of the reasons why we’ve been integrating more into housing issues over the past five years. Reports state that safe, affordable housing is often one of the primary barriers survivors face when leaving their abusive partner. Those reports also document domestic violence as the leading cause of homelessness for women and children.

    In 2020, the Los Angeles Homeless Services Authority (LAHSA) reported that 18,858 women, men, and children across the county have experienced or are homeless due to domestic violence, a 40% increase from 2019. Sadly, DV victims make up 41% of the total “unsheltered” homeless population or those living on the streets, in their cars, and other places not suited to human habitation. Although these are alarming figures, many professionals argue that these statistics are low and do not accurately capture the number of domestic violence survivors living on the streets. 

    We have seen survivors leave our transitional shelter for years now and struggle to find affordable housing. Upon leaving, many survivors often face two terrible choices: return to their abusers or become homeless. Societally, we urge survivors to leave their abusers, even going so far as to tell them they must leave. Yet, where should they go? 

    That’s why Haven Hills founded its Housing First Program in 2018. This program, funded through the California Office of Emergency Services, helps families find safe and affordable housing to ensure their safety. The program provides survivors with housing assistance for rent, utilities, furniture, and essential supplies. It also includes case management through our Housing Navigator. This staff member helps survivors locate and secure housing, ensuring they receive the supportive services needed to stay housed. 

    The Housing First Program has helped survivors exiting from our transitional program, crisis shelter, and outreach programs to find housing successfully. Before implementing this program, roughly 40–50% of clients leaving our transitional program obtained housing. In 2018, that percentage grew to 80%, and in 2019 100% of exiting survivors moved on to permanent housing. Without financial support, this upward trend would be very different. 

    The COVID-19 pandemic has been especially challenging for this program. Dozens of survivors have turned to us to help them stay in their homes as they faced reduced hours at work or loss of employment. Housing First funding has helped prevent homelessness for survivors with no other options. When DV survivors must choose between living in violence at home or subjecting themselves and their children to violence on the street, we must do all we can to make sure that these are not their only options. 

    Maria Barahona has been with Haven Hills since 2014. Over that time, she served as its Director of Development and currently serves as the Director of Compliance. In this capacity, she oversees our public contracts and new program development, including Haven Hill’s Housing First and DART Shelter Advocate Programs.  
    Please visit the National Alliance for Safe Housing and the Los Angeles Homeless Services Authority (LAHSA) for more information on homelessness and domestic violence.