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  • Survivors like Edith

    Domestic violence can take any form namely psychological abuse, forced intercourse, physical aggression as well as other controlling behaviors. The negative impacts of domestic violence can have physical, mental, and emotional ramifications. In most cases, the basis of abuse lies in sociocultural norms and a normalization of violence against women.

    Intimate partner violence may lead to mental health disorders, anxiety disorders and PTSD. Moreover, the longer the duration of violence, the higher the severity of depression. Children who witness such violence may also suffer from mental health disorders in subsequent life—ranging from anxiety, aggression, depression and trauma-related symptoms. This trauma may also lead children to have academic difficulties later in life, substance abuse issues, or display high-risk sexual behavior.

    Survivors like Edith found not just shelter, but case management and counseling services to help deal with the traumatic effects of domestic violence.

    My husband abused me every day for over four years. It started when I was 21 years old and was living in Northridge with my husband, our son and infant daughter. He was controlling and manipulative, and I had suffered physical, psychological, emotional, verbal, economic, and sexual abuse. I never talked with anyone about the abuse. I was alone and did not have family here. He was my only family. It became worse when his mother started participating in the abuse. The day I decided to leave the father of my kids was the same day he hit me so hard he broke my nose, he was screaming and physically abusing me. His mother and his sister came to the apartment and took my kids. My husband stayed and continued the abuse throughout the night. He finally left in the morning. I gathered myself and called him that afternoon, begging him to bring my kids back. I went to his mother’s house to pick up my kids, his mother told me to forget my kids and she closed and locked the door. I went back to the apartment, and I stayed there by myself. After three days, I went to the police and was advised to speak with somebody and explained my domestic violence and my abuser, and his family doesn’t want to give me my kids. I was transferred to a court investigator; he gave me an emergency restraining order. It took me fifteen days to get my kids back. A case was opened against the father of my kids, and I was told that they attempted to contact him, but he never answered or came back to the apartment. I was given contact information for shelters in my area. Haven Hills was the closest shelter to my home; I called the hotline, went through intake and began the program in 2016. Haven Hills made me feel protected and not lonely anymore. The counselors were very helpful to me, and I could trust them. I took domestic violence classes, yoga classes, I attended support groups, one on one counseling, and therapy. All the programs gave me the strength to understand and accept that I was not the only one in the abuse and were vital for my healing process and I finally lost the fear three years ago. The future holds a better life for my kids and me. “

    Survivors of domestic violence experience many emotions such as fear, confusion, anger, numbness, guilt, and shame. You can cover up the visible effects of violence with makeup or clothing but getting help for abuse in a timely manner can help prevent the long-term emotional and psychological impacts of abuse.

    Haven Hills can help Survivors with resources to help with the long-term impacts of abuse and start them on a path of positive mental health and wellness. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, seek help. You are not alone. Haven Hills 24/7 Crisis Hotline 818-887-6589

  • Homelessness & DV


    Do you consider domestic violence a cause to homelessness in the United States? You may be surprised to learn that domestic violence is a common factor in homelessness for single adults and families. It decreases job stability, threatens financial stability, and interferes with the victim’s abilities to form supportive relationships to escape the abuse. In many cases, domestic violence is the immediate
    cause of their homelessness, and the two are tightly interwoven.


    In Los Angeles, domestic violence (DV) and homelessness are strongly correlated as
    evidenced by the 2019 Homeless Count report published by Los Angeles Homeless
    Services Agency (LAHSA). In Los Angeles County, there was a 28% increase among
    individuals/families who were homeless due to fleeing a domestic violence situation.
    The City of Los Angeles reported a 42% increase among homeless individuals/families reporting either current incidences or experience of DV. According to the National LowIncome Housing Coalition, the fair market rent for a two-bedroom apartment in LA is $1,670; requiring an annual income of $66,520 or $31.98 per hour; a household would need three minimum wage job earners to afford such rent. These staggering figures make it extremely difficult for low-income individuals and families to secure and maintain affordable housing, especially for DV survivors during COVID-19. Domestic Violence survivors face unique barriers regarding safety, confidentiality, and dealing with trauma.
    When victims do flee, many times from a lethal incident, they flee to domestic violence
    Emergency Shelters or fall into homelessness when these resources are not available.
    It comes down to this – when victims make the hard decision to leave and reach out for
    help, they must be able to find safety and support if they are to escape domestic
    violence.


    Serving domestic violence survivors begins with availability and access to safe, physical
    spaces to support survivors and their children. In fact, the immediate need of a survivor
    fleeing domestic violence is safety. Some survivors may be able to safely stay in their
    own home with some additional financial support through rental assistance while others
    may require a stay in an emergency shelter or transitional housing program before reentering their own independent housing. 


    To help our clients find safe housing, Haven Hills has Housing Navigators. Our Housing
    Navigators are case managers that assesses, coordinate and monitor housing plans for
    clients in all three of our programs. Their job is to advocate with landlords, homeless
    service providers and housing partners to find clients permanent and stable housing
    once they leave our facilities.

    Our housing efforts include our two shelter programs (Crisis and Transitional Housing) and our Housing First program which assist clients in securing safe, permanent, and affordable housing upon exit from our shelters and individuals and families in the community. Since 2019, we have provided over $1million dollars ($1,026,645) to 243 households, including 125 families and 118 single individuals (243 adults / 170 children). In addition, 42 clients received financial support for education, materials,
    household utilities and other flexible funding to support their housing efforts. Clients
    report the support has changed their lives and helped them feel more confident when
    transitioning out of our shelters, allowing them to focus on employment or educational
    aspirations to maintain their housing upon exit. The greatest benefit is the flexible,
    financial assistance to help with deposits, utilities, and dealing with emergency costs.
    Short-term financial assistance to secure and maintain housing can change the
    trajectory of a family in so many ways – leading them to live safe, healthy, and happy
    lives; and most importantly ending the cycle of violence. Effectiveness at Haven Hills
    has been demonstrated mainly by placement of survivors in safe, permanent housing
    without the abuser; there has been a notable increase with the implementation of this
    program since 2018.


    Much like healing trauma and abuse, finding affordable, safe housing is crucial to
    helping survivors reduce the possibility of future violence. Research indicates that
    families that receive a housing subsidy after exiting homelessness are far less likely to
    experience interpersonal violence than those that do not. Having an affordable place to
    call home is crucial for this population, to both reduce their risk of homelessness as well
    as the possibility of future violence.


    We urge victims to leave their abusers, we even go so far as to tell them they must
    leave, yet where should they go? Survivors are entitled to a clear pathway to housing
    that will help them get back on the road to self-sufficiency.

  • Keep Breathing

    Usually, when you experience any form of abuse from a partner — whether that be physical, psychological, financial, or sexual abuse, people will encourage you to disconnect from your abuser. This can include stopping all communication, and seeking police support if appropriate.

    However, with children, the process of separation is more complex and often means you need to remain in contact with the other party, despite harm that happened within the relationship. Having a child with an abuser is an unbreakable bond that you will share for the rest of your life.

    It can be hard to have your own identity when you are struggling and trying to provide a safe place for yourself and your children. Like our survivor Megan who shared her struggle:

    I take deep breaths. I have felt suffocated for years. Tried to catch my breath by leaving “him”. But I couldn’t breathe as they put the handcuffs on me for “abusing him” when I had been the one abused. I couldn’t breathe when they handed me the restraining order to not come within 100 yards of my kids because I was a “danger” to them. I couldn’t breathe in every court hearing being told I was a bad parent. I couldn’t breathe as I slept in the truck. I was able to take small breaths when I was able to fight the negatives and get them back. I could take deep breaths as I finally had them in my arms after two months of nothing. My breath was taken again when they pulled my three month old from my arms because of both of “them”. I couldn’t breathe when I sat in that room for 1 hour as not one but TWO social workers watched my every move as I “visited” my kids. I couldn’t breathe when the ER doctor told me I was pregnant. Short breaths and reflect and the choices I am making. Deep breaths as I secured my income and escaped the abuse, finding us a safe home. Full breaths when I was finally told I could have my kids back after a year and a half. Slow breathing as “he” disappeared for months leaving me to do it all, feeding them, loving them through their own pains and confusion. And again, small breathes as he returns and threatens to take them again because I decided to fight for “him” to pitch in for their survival. Preparing myself to deal with the ups and downs of co-parenting with an abuser. Life can be breathtaking in both ways. But the point is to Keep Breathing. I will continue to have my kids be my oxygen.♥

    Client’s name withheld

    Don’t forget to nurture your own identity and life. It may be difficult, it is important to build a broader identity outside parenthood and your relationship, to ensure you have a range of identities to draw solace from.

    Work, friendships, hobbies, and other relationships can be sources of support and meaning and give you something to feel positive about at times when the co-parenting relationship feels particularly fraught.

    For information on how to deal with the effects of trauma or to get help, please visit our website at havenhills.org.

  • Grit

    One of the many barriers that survivors face when trying to leave an abusive relationship is a lack of education or job readiness. Often, this inability to support themselves keeps survivors in abusive relationships.

    Knowing this, in 2020 Haven Hills partnered with the American Aerospace Technical Academy to create a multi-sector blueprint to highlight meaningful workforce pathways combined with trauma-informed practices for survivors of domestic violence. We focused on a multi-sector approach to create pathways out of poverty, dependence, and violence through training in non-destructive testing, GED attainment, job placement, and wrap-around support services such as case management, life skills, and support groups to help manage work stress for survivors. Our hope was to help participants build stability through increased workforce readiness, skill acquisition and confidence building.

    It is never easy to take on a new career or to consider a new career at any age and it was especially important that we prepare participants for the added workload and scheduling management required to accommodate virtual classes from 5pm to 10pm, Monday through Friday during the 16-week program.

    We are honored to report that six survivors successfully completed the first Workforce Development Program class! We are challenged to find the perfect word that encompasses the six graduates and their sheer determination to complete this program. The only word that comes to mind is “Grit”. This word is defined by the perseverance, resiliency, and the hard work to reach a goal over a long period of time and each of these survivors have all truly encompassed what it means to be “gritty”.

    The challenges these survivors had were many, and they met them with determination and the hope of building a better life for themselves and their children. They had to learn new material virtually through a pandemic, which certainly had its own set of challenges. They had to re-learn how to be in school. They balanced being a single mother, working to provide for their family, while healing from their trauma. And yet, despite all of that, they succeeded. It was inspiring and an honor to witness their growth throughout this program.

    All of us at Haven Hills believe this project has the potential to change systems and conditions for domestic violence survivors that traditional workforce strategies do not provide.  We look forward to implementing the best practices learned through this pilot and cultivate relationships with additional training programs to provide more opportunities for survivors in our care.  We also hope to better understand both the participants’ individual capacity for success within this context and our ability to provide the wrap-around services and follow-up required for long-term and sustained participant success.

  • We strive to support the unique needs of ALL survivors we serve

    Lisa came to our Shelter from South Central Los Angeles. She had just moved with her batterer from Arizona and knew no one in California. And, as is common in domestic violence relationships, her abuser had isolated her from everyone and everything that she had been familiar with.

    Lisa resisted calling a shelter because she felt that as a lesbian she wouldn’t be accepted into any program. In fact, there is a common concern among our LGBTQ+ survivors, that they will not be accepted into a shelter or receive the services offered because domestic violence shelters only accept straight women and their children.

    Nothing could be further from the truth.  In fact, at Haven Hills we take great pride in serving ALL survivors of domestic violence regardless of national origin, ethnicity, gender-identity, sexual orientation, age, language, religion, income level, or abilities. 

    Domestic violence is not limited to heterosexual relationships and can affect individuals of all sexual orientations and genders. Within the LGBTQ+ community, intimate partner violence occurs at a rate equal to or even higher than that of the heterosexual community. LGBTQ+ individuals may experience unique forms of intimate partner violence as well as distinctive barriers to seeking help due to fear of discrimination or bias.

    Luckily Lisa made a call to our hotline and found a helpful advocate ready to provide support – a safe place to stay, case management, individual and group counseling, and a community ready to help her rebuild her life. 

    Lisa participated in all our shelter programs. We helped her file a restraining order and worked with her to connect with a transitional housing program. Today, Lisa is working as an executive with a major corporation and is enjoying her new home in Los Angeles.

    We strive to support the unique needs of ALL survivors we serve. Because we believe that everyone deserves to live a life free from violence. 

    Crisis Line 818-887-6589

    You are not alone. We are here to help.

  • Planned Giving at Haven Hills

    The Planned Giving Insights within this blog are provided through the generosity of our board member, Valerie J. Bowman, CPWA®, CAP®.   Ms. Bowman is not compensated for these writings and, like all of our board, is not compensated for her service on the board. Valerie Bowman is a Certified Private Wealth Advisor® professional, a Chartered Advisor in Philanthropy®, and President and CEO of Bowman Wealth Management, LLC.

    Hello Valerie – thank you for taking the time to share your insights on planned giving. Can you tell us a little about what planned giving is?

    Planned giving at Haven Hills is an area of fundraising that refers to several specific gift types that can be funded with cash, equity, or **property. In brief, a planned giving request is a solicitation of major gifts for Haven Hills, often contributed by an individual donor through a will, bequest, or trust. As a planned giving donor, one recognizes that causes that they care about will continue to exist, even after their passing. Donors are giving because they want to.  Haven Hills is asking because we need to help others.  We appreciate that donors are both kind enough to give now and curious about how they can give later.

    **Note: Donors should refer to the Haven Hills gift acceptance police for details of the specific types of gifts this organization is prepared to receive. Contact the Development Department at 818-887-7481 ext. 121

    In addition to sending the, much appreciated, cash donations directly to Haven Hills, what are some other ways for donors to give now?

    Donor can establish a donor advised fund (DAF).  A donor advised fund is an irrevocable charitable giving account that can be established at a sponsoring organization like the charitable arm of a financial services firm or a community foundation.  Once the donor deposits assets into the account, they receive an immediate tax deduction based on the type of asset, and their AGI, adjusted gross income. In most cases, the donor can direct the fund administrator to grant funds from the DAF to a specific nonprofit organization like Haven Hills.

    What are some of the planned giving option for donors?

    Let me mention some general categories.  The specifics of each category should be discussed with one’s financial professionals.

    One of the simplest ways to make a gift is through a will or trust

    • Simply name Haven Hills as a beneficiary in a will or trust.

    Donors can also designate Haven Hills as the beneficiary of the following types of assets:

    • Retirement plans, financial account, or annuities

    I’ve heard that Life Insurance can be donated as well. Is this correct?

    Yes, often life insurance is no longer needed to cover the expenses for which it was originally purchased.  Donors can either gift a policy to Haven Hills by naming Haven Hills as the owner and/ or designate Haven Hills as the beneficiary of the life insurance policy. The tax benefits for this type of donation are dependent on many factors and proper council should be sought.

    Suppose a donor wants to give a gift of Real Estate

    As part of the mission of Haven Hills is to provide shelter to victims of domestic violence, receiving real estate would certainly further that cause. However, we continue to invite donors to review the gift acceptance policy or contact Haven Hills to discuss the details of the property.   Different tax deductions are available dependent, among other things, on how the property is used by Haven Hills or if it is sold and proceeds are used to support the mission of Haven Hills. There are many details about the donation of real estate that will impact the donor’s tax deduction. This can be a great option for the donor as it may lead to potential avoidance of capital gains tax if donated to Haven Hills rather than selling the property prior to donating it. In some cases, a charitable trust which can also be utilized to sell the property. I can’t emphasize enough, the importance of speaking to a tax, legal or wealth management professional, and legal counsel to ensure that generous gifts of real estate provide the charitable impact the donor wants, the financial impact they are entitled to, and the freedom of Haven Hills to use the property without incurring any financial responsibilities.

    What About Gift of One’s Home?

    A donor and their attorney can establish what is called a gift of a remainder interest in a personal residence.  Basically, if you own your home you may irrevocably transfer title to Haven Hills, while retaining the right to use it during your lifetime, and continuing to pay the home’s expenses. After which time, Haven Hills will take ownership. The IRS has specific guidelines for the calculation of the tax deduction, and discourages debt-encumbered property, which may cause unwanted consequences for both the donor and Haven Hills.

    Is appreciated stock something a donor could gift?

    Yes, Amber.  I mentioned charitable trust earlier, which, in brief, is a legal document that crates a means to transfer assets to a charity and may be established as a charity itself. There are many different types of charitable trust, which we will discuss, in our next blog. Each has different tax advantages and serves a different purpose. But, to answer your question, yes, donors can donate appreciated securities to Haven Hills outright or through a trust. Again donors should refer to the gift acceptance policy for addition information and specific instructions on transfers through a brokerage account.

    In conclusion, these potential legacy gifts will be a lasting tribute to the donor, create fond memories for their family about their generosity, and, of course, evoke eternal gratitude from Haven Hills and the victims of domestic violence.

    Income tax deduction for your planned gifts are dependent on may factors including your AGI, adjusted gross income. Please consult your tax professional to determine the tax deduction and savings for your much-appreciated generosity in gifting one or more of the above-mentioned gifts.

    **Including language in your will about your desire to give is a simple process.

    However, the hardest part of this delayed giving is perhaps gathering all family members and sharing your desire to leave a legacy to a charitable organization, upon your passing.

    Providing for the future of a charity does not have to be to the exclusion of your heirs. If you so choose, there are many ways to provide for both, the details of which will be discussed in the next blog. Regardless of how you choose to give, Haven Hills is available to help you decide which giving vehicle best suits your needs and the needs of your family.

    “I can testify that it is nearly always easier to make $1,000,000 honestly than to dispose of wisely” -Julius Rosenwald-

    Ms. Bowman is a resident of California by way of Chicago, a city that certainly has its share of homelessness. However, upon moving to California she was stunned by an even heightened level of homelessness that appears to be California’s new normal. According to Los Angeles City Women’s Needs Assessment, (2019) 36% of homeless women were victims of domestic violence.  Ms. Bowman has both written and spoken about homelessness. She is proud to be part of an organization that provides safety, shelter, and support to victims of domestic violence and proud to serve on the Haven Hills Board.

     The information provided is meant to be general, and educational in nature. For specifics of your situation, please consult with your tax, legal, or financial professional, to determine the impact on your estate, gift and income taxes.

  • 40 Hour Domestic Violence Training

    Everyone deserves to have a violence free relationship. Any relationship. The term domestic violence describes physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, financial, digital, and / or religious abuse by a current or former partner or spouse. This violence can occur in any relationship. Heterosexual couples, same-sex couples and does not require sexual intimacy. Domestic violence affects women and men and their children.

    I am not a counselor nor do I have a license to provide counseling or therapy but I recently took Haven Hills’ 40-Hour Domestic Violence training and walked away with the tools on how to support someone who is asking for help. What I did learn is that anyone can help.

    Violence is a learned and taught behavior. Children who witness domestic violence in the home are at more risk of experiencing domestic violence as they grow up – as teens and adults. Family is our central institution and the primary source of how we learn as children. Unhealthy relationship behaviors are likely to be repeated by children if this is what is modeled in the home, especially if this aggressive behavior is shown to be an effective method for handling conflict, “I saw my parents do it” kind of attitude.

    Domestic violence is a silent epidemic. It occurs anywhere and across all populations and DV can also take many forms. 90% of people in the U.S. fail to define repeated emotional, verbal, sexual abuse and controlling behaviors as patterns of domestic abuse.

    About 1 in 5 women and about 1 in 9 men report having experienced severe physical violence from an intimate partner in their lifetime.

    Upon further research I found that California sees higher rates than the national average with 32% of women and 27% of men report experiencing domestic violence by an intimate partner.

    I learned that many people do not speak up. I learned that many people go back because they do not have the tools or help to survive on their own. 40-Hours may seem like a long time but the team at Haven Hills has broken it down into weekly online presentations with a corresponding module. The staff was available and open to as many questions that me and my peers had during the lessons. The commitment you are making to learn more about how you can be an advocate to help supersedes the time it takes to complete the certificate. You are surrounded by other ambassadors who are taking the steps to stop harassment or violence to make a significant difference in someone’s life, and send a powerful message.

    I will continue to bring awareness to this cause, educate our community and play an active role in helping to establish an environment where healthy and positive relationships are based on respect, safety and equality. I learned that Haven Hills has the tools to help.

    24/7 Crisis Line 818-887-6589

    They are just a phone call away.

  • Culturally Specific Support

    Every day, Haven Hills staff sees the devastating impact of Domestic Violence on the faces of the families that come to us for help; they are suffering both emotionally and physically. To offer the help that these families require, we often must consider the cultural and linguistic backgrounds of the clients we are serving. A lack of understanding of a culturally different client’s values and motivations, or the assumption that they are the same as one’s own, can be a significant barrier. A ‘one size fits all’ approach to supporting trauma is not effective.

    For example, many of our clients were brought up to neither share confidences nor admit emotional pain to outsiders. The personal disclosure and behavioral changes that counselors typically suggest can often be embarrassing and totally unimaginable to clients who would rather “handle their own business” than seek outside help from a stranger.

    “Understanding the complexities of a person’s background and individual situation makes a huge difference in successfully assisting them in treating their trauma and achieve self-esteem,” explained Iliana Tavera, Haven Hills Executive Director. “We understand that beliefs and traditions are powerful forces in a person’s life and that providing culturally sensitive care is essential to supporting domestic violence survivors from diverse cultural backgrounds”.

    Clients like Cheri, a woman in her 30s who immigrated to the U.S. in 2003 from Bangladesh in 2003 as part of an arranged marriage agreement. Initially confronted with her husband’s verbal abuse, the situation escalated after a year to slapping, pulling hair, kicking and choking her when he was displeased. The verbal abuse intensified as he criticized her to the children, called her a prostitute and threatened to cut her throat.
    Cheri tried to leave many times, but she was financially dependent on her spouse and did not have friends or family in this country. After years of abuse, Cheri finally called the police after a particularly violent episode, and her husband was arrested in 2015. After his release, he left the country and returned to his home country.

    That year, Cheri began the difficult journey toward independence with the help of social services and the support of the Haven Hills Outreach Program. Learning to do everything on her own was very hard, but with the aid of Haven Hills’ highly trained counselors she has grown in confidence and has become self-sufficient. Ultimately, Cheri was accepted into a nursing program and graduated in 2017.

    Cultural and geographic isolation worsened by financial dependence on a spouse, can be devastating obstacles to overcome. Take for instance Amalia a middle-aged Muslim woman whose marriage to a man 25 years her senior was arranged by her parents when she was only 18.

    Her husband had always been emotionally distant and controlling of the finances, but in recent years he became increasingly abusive. He prevented her from working or getting a college education, and he kept her on a weekly allowance of $25.00, requiring her to account for every penny. His criticism and blame extended to belittling her to their grown sons and claiming she was crazy. On numerous occasions, he tried to force her to take unknown pills, despite being told by a psychiatrist, following an examination, that she did not need medication.

    Amalia found Haven Hills through an internet search in January 2016. At that time, she was wondering what she could do to make her husband change. Since coming to Haven Hills and attending support groups led by counselors specially trained in domestic violence, her self-esteem has improved. Amalia realized she only has the power to change herself, and she has started to work towards self-sufficiency and divorce.

    She recently completed a class to become a real estate agent. In addition, Haven Hills advocated for her to be a part of Pepperdine’s Microenterprise Program to develop the skills to become an entrepreneur. Amalia was recently accepted into the Pepperdine program and hopes to use the skills she learns there to develop a website and become financially independent.

  • Men and domestic Violence

    Joey’s Survivor Story

    Men don’t suffer from domestic violence, right? Wrong. In the United States alone, one in four men experiences domestic violence. Often, men struggle to get help for domestic violence out of fear of not being believed. They also fear being perceived as less masculine. When men access services, they tend to minimize the abuse and try to avoid the social stigma that comes with their inability to protect themselves. Let’s break down male domestic violence with a few figures.

    • According to the CDC, every 37.8 seconds, a man is the victim of intimate partner violence somewhere in the U.S.
    • Nearly 56% of men who were victims of sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner first experienced these or other forms of violence before age 25.
    • 63% of males, as opposed to 15% of females, had a deadly weapon used against them in a domestic violence incident.
    • Only 15% of the domestic violence reported to law enforcement officials is against men.

    In other words, domestic violence among male survivors is a huge problem that often goes unreported. Although most shelters aid male survivors, most have only limited units that can accommodate them. Therefore, many male survivors of domestic violence do not receive the support they need. That’s not the case with Haven Hills, though. 

    We can accommodate survivors, regardless of their gender, since most of our units are single units. More and more male survivors are coming forward to seek help and, luckily, organizations like Haven Hills are available to help them rebuild their lives with shelter and supportive services. Joey, for example, entered our crisis shelter program a few years back.

    At first, Joey resisted seeking help because his abuser would tell him that no one would believe him and that they would say Joey was the aggressor because he was male. He also viewed his sexual orientation as a barrier that prevented him from seeking the domestic violence support services he needed.

    Once he entered our crisis program, Joey attended a support group and learned how to identify signs of an abusive relationship correctly. He also started individual counseling and discovered not to be ashamed of being a male domestic violence survivor. His son also benefited by receiving tutoring services through our children’s program. 

    When I called Joey to confirm his acceptance into our transitional program, he cried. This 18-month program provides Joey with no-cost temporary housing as he continues to stabilize his life and plan for the future, providing him with tools to establish credit, develop a budget, find a permanent place to live, and develop a safety plan.

    Joey regularly calls to express how thankful he is for all the supportive services we’ve provided him. For years, he stayed in an abusive relationship because he thought there was no help for him and his son. Unfortunately, that may also be the case for an unknown number of male survivors who experience domestic violence but are too afraid or ashamed to seek help. 

    Joey’s story is a powerful reminder of the importance of keeping our services available to all survivors of domestic violence. No one deserves to suffer domestic violence, and Haven Hills is here to help people of every gender break the cycle of abuse.

    Marissa Lemus is the Residential Program Manager for Haven Hills. In this role, she provides services and manages the crisis shelter, transitional shelter, crisis line programs, facility, and staff. Marissa’s professional and educational background is in clinical neuropsychology, which allows her to support both staff and clients holistically. She and her team meet weekly for client case consultations that enable survivors to receive trauma-informed care. Marissa’s main objective is to develop programs that instill self-sufficiency, resiliency, and community within residential clients.